How to shop at the Ipswich Rite Aid in 26 easy steps:
(A) Get items, including a chocolate bar marked “Two for one.”
(B) Stand in line for the only cashier available. The woman in front of you is trying to get a refund and is signing paperwork. Cashier informs her that she will be refunded the sale price, not the price she paid. Woman sighs, an omen of things to come.
(C) Ask the cashier if the chocolate bar is really “Two for one”
(D) Cashier answers that it will come up with your Rite Aid card. Fortunately, you searched through your wallet and finally found the stupid card while waiting in line.
(E) Card reader can’t read the card.
(F) Give cashier your phone number.
(G) It’s the wrong phone number.
(H) Give cashier your other phone number.
(I) Amount totals without the “Two for the one” price
(J) Ask cashier why.
(K) Cashier doesn’t know.
(L) Tell cashier that you only want one.
(M) Cashier is unable to remove second item without manager approval. (I’m not lying)
(N) Cashier pages manager
(O) Manager slowly walks from back of store, for the machine to read her fingerprint.
(P) New total shows one item.
(Q) Insert your credit card.
(R) Card reader asks if you want to upgrade your Rite Aid card
(S) Answer NO because you hate cards too. The last time I was at Rite Aid I asked about the “points.” The cashier informed me that Rite Aid zeros out your unused points at the end of the year.
(T) Card reader asks if you want to contribute to a charity.
(U) Answer NO!!!!! and consider a run for the exit.
(V) Wait for the card reader to read the chip on your credit card. Keep waiting….keep waiting….
Cashier gives you receipt
(X) You must sign the receipt
(Y) Tell Cashier that you hate Rite Aid and will never return.
(Z) Cashier nods and smiles knowingly….